Controversial

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _{~ ~ ~ I am a}~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _~~~~ a beautiful strong black woman _{~ ~}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _{~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~} ~ _~~~
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Hitler and Pol Pot, unquestionably two of history’s biggest bastards.
But lets try to see the good in the bad, and both Hitler and Pol Pot, managed to conduct an awful lot of medical research without hurting any animals.

I put it to you if you’re not even a little bit offended you haven’t really understood that.

Experts are predicting a global shortage of puppies this Christmas once the catering requirements for Kim Jong-il’s funeral have been confirmed.

I’m a comfort eater with too many cats, also known as ‘happily single.’

Recently I bought a home pregnancy test, turns out that my house is pregnant. I’m delighted, I’m having a shed.

If you’ve never seen a Punch and Judy show, I don’t want to spoil it for you, but the man behind the curtain is a paedophile.

If you had to choose between saving your own life and saving a loved one, most people agree… That it’d be a terrific game show.

As a child, wetting the bed is the most embarrassing, as an adult, wetting a child’s bed is mortifying.

We didn’t have paedophiles when I was a kid, we had to buy our own sweets.

What sort of person would go out for the evening leaving a young girl at home alone?

and whereabouts would they live?

Kim Jong-un has been announced as his father’s first successor, to be followed by his brother, Kim Jong-deux, who will be followed by Kim Jong-trois, and so on…

If a man says he enjoys long walks in the countryside, it might mean he’s a romantic soul, it’s more likely he’s saying “they’ll never find your body.”

Me and my two mates had a crazy idea of doing something that was related to our surnames, so the next day we went for it.
I, Greg Smith, made workman tools for the day.
My mate Stephen Butcher sold meat for the day.
My other mate Mike Blackman robbed a bank, raped a woman and was subsequently sentenced to 15 years in jail.

Well that was a miscalculation.

I smoke far too many cigarettes these days and it’s affecting the kids’ health, so I’m giving them up.

Anyone recommend a decent adoption agency?

Say what you like about the Make-a-Wish foundation, they can work to a deadline.

A lot of people believe paedophiles shouldn’t be allowed to live anywhere near schools, but it does reduce their carbon footprint.

I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish wanker said, “The ’70s called… They want their shirt back!”

I said, “The ‘40s called… Your shower’s ready.”

I disregard the truth and acquire bitches on a daily basis before dying from mutant chlamydia and respawning in your mother’s panty draw.

To be honest, I’m just glad I could get this username before it was taken.

Get off my profile you smelly chucklefuck.